Grief and Getting Lost: February 17-23

It's been a rough week. A friend and colleague of mine passed away suddenly of a heart attack on Monday morning. He was, simply put, the kindest man I knew and the world is a little bit worse for his absence. I'm gutted, and I've spent most of my free time hugging my kids, sleeping when I shouldn't, and being wide awake when I should be asleep. As my ever-generous wife put it, "Grief is exhausting."

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised then at the cultural whiplash brought on by the ways I've spent my time this week. Wendell Berry and Phish aren't natural bedfellows, to say the least, but they both demand close attention – as does the game Civilization VII. I've used these three as waystones of sorts on the path to a flow state that has let me get past my sadness for solid chunks of time, and I'm grateful for their very different depths and the way I emerge from each of them: lost, tired, refreshed. It's probably yet another form of denial, I suppose, but it feels like a vital one at the moment.

Books
Port William Novels and Stories: The Civil War to World War II (Library of America), Wendell Berry (started): I wasn't sure if I wanted to dive right back into the world of Port William so soon after finishing Jayber Crow, but circumstances demanded it. I need something warm, something with a soul, and so I turned to Berry. There was a beautiful meditation on life and death in the third story "Fly Away, Breath" and I couldn't help but think of the comedy trope of when someone gets dumped and turns on the radio to hear only songs about heartbreak.

I'm going to try and pull my thoughts together on Berry for a longer piece one of these days, so I'll leave it here - but I will say that I really like the organization of this particular volume. Berry's work is prolific, and it bounces around the room of time in Port William, but this collection puts them all in chronological order of when they happened, both stories and novels mixed in alike, and I love the picture of this town it slowly paints.

Phish's A Live One (33 1/3 Series), Professor Walter Holland (finished): Some background reading that was assigned by buddy Andy for our bookclub as we tackle the album for our next meeting. I liked Holland's writing and his knowledge of his topic is sometimes overwhelming (both exhaustive and, at times, exhausting), but I particularly appreciated his breakdowns of two songs, "Harry Hood" and "Stash." I have no real music theory training, and so his look at the structure of the improvisation on these two tracks was pretty eye-opening and let me to a deeper appreciation of what I was hearing. But why would someone insist on be being credited as "Professor"? I mean, really. I can't get past it.

Articles & Episodes
Would I Lie To You: S18:E02: This British panel show is one of my comfort watches, and while I wouldn't call this particular episode a standout, I still really enjoyed it. Lee Mack is shockingly quick and creative in a way that probably tracks with nearly everything else I've taken in this week. If you haven't seen it before, minor British celebrities and comedians have to convince the other team that their stories are true (or a lie, as the case may sometimes be), and they don't know what the story will be ahead of time. I found it during COVID on YouTube, and it's been a reliable go-to every since.

Hot Ones - Ben Stiller, Rob McElhenny: Again, neither were exactly standout episodes, but I was struck that Stiller seems like a nice guy, which tracks with everything I heard about him when I lived in NYC a few years back.

"The Hardest Working Font in Manhattan", Marcin Wichary (aresluna.org): I never knew there were fonts designed for etching rather than printing, but I suppose it makes sense given their very different demands and needs. I found this fascinating.

"We Use Glasses Like Civilized People", Erasable Episode 223: My favorite podcast and another comfort-giving usual. It's about pencils, but really about creativity more generally, and ultimately about the hosts Andy Welfle, Johnny Gamber, and Tim Wassem (sadly absent from this episode).

"Nothing New", a newly discovered poem by Robert Frost (The New Yorker): I took an incredible Frost class in grad school in Vermont, and I love most of his work.

"The Town That Went Feral", Patrick Blanchfield (The New Republic): For no reason at all, here's a 2020 look at a New Hampshire town run by hard-line libertarians that became infested with bears and they struggled with whether they should do anything about it.

One woman, who prudently chose to remain anonymous save for the sobriquet “Doughnut Lady,” revealed to Hongoltz-Hetling that she had taken to welcoming bears on her property for regular feasts of grain topped with sugared doughnuts. If those same bears showed up on someone else’s lawn expecting similar treatment, that wasn’t her problem.

Music
A Live One, Phish

Hot Rats, Frank Zappa: It finally clicked for me! After years of trying off and on, I got it! It took much more close attention than I had paid it before, but I was into it this time, and I probably have Professor Holland's book to thank for it. Now to take some baby steps in the rest of his body of work...

DEVO: Tiny Desk Concert: "It Takes a Worried Man" was exactly what I need to hear this week. I hadn't heard it before watching this Tiny Desk, but I highly recommend you check it out here:

Mark Mothersbaugh is a damn genius.